by Julian Spivey
You know who’s really a bad boss bitch on Super Bowl Sunday?
Let me explain.
I was thumbing through my Twitter feed right before kickoff of Super Bowl LVI on Sunday afternoon and saw a tweet from former ESPN/MSNBC commentator/curmudgeon Keith Olbermann, who said he wished the NBA or NHL would have the guts to put just one game out there during the Super Bowl. I guess he wanted competition but is anti-NFL (there are honestly many reasons to be).
I recommended to him in a tweet that likely wasn’t read (how often do you think responses to famous folks on Twitter go unread?) that he should try out the wonderful double of British dramas “Around the World in 80 Days” and “All Creatures Great and Small” on PBS’s Masterpiece series. Hell, it may have come off as a weak joke on my part. After all, why would anyone want to watch British imports on PBS on Super Bowl Sunday. But I was serious. Those two programs are probably my two favorite shows of 2022 thus far and I can’t wait to get to the new episodes on my DVR. Also, I hope to get around to reviewing both of them, but both seasons are nearing their end (so who knows?).
Anyway, this made me realize how PBS is going to PBS no matter what Sunday of the year it is and that’s to be respected and commended. None of the networks schedule new programming opposite of the Super Bowl. It’s Nielsen ratings suicide. That’s why CBS went with a re-run of reality show “Big Brother” and ABC went with “America’s Funniest Home Videos” and I’m sure Fox aired re-runs of its slate of animated programs.
Hell, even NBC in the midst of covering the Winter Olympics told the ice and snow sports to get lost for the evening because big, old American Football was on, as well as the year’s most-watched 15 minute concert (which apparently has driven white boomer conservatives absolutely nuts!) and the last night of the year we don’t reach for the fast-forward button to get through commercials. By god there were too many cryptocurrency and electric car commercials this year! I just want cute dogs and Clydesdales!
But not PBS. PBS knows it’s audience! It knows we’re going to want our David Tennant circumnavigating the globe in less than three months and our kindly English vets saving farm animals. We will not settle for less!
It’s nice that PBS has our backs, especially on the one night of the television year that seems to say, “you must watch this game, this event really. You must submit!”
You know what, I actually like the game of football, so I was watching the Super Bowl, but again can’t wait for these shows on the DVR.
It’s just nice to have a network say: “Here’s our regularly scheduled British dramas. Suck it American Football!”
Don’t ever change PBS.
by Julian Spivey
Reports broke on Wednesday, February 2 that Rudy Giuliani, who served as part of President Donald Trump’s legal team that played such a huge role in claiming the 2020 Presidential election was rigged, stolen or frauded, was unmasked as a ‘Masked Singer’ on a recent taping of Fox’s hit reality singing competition “The Masked Singer.” Giuliani’s appearance on the show was so controversial it reportedly led to judges Ken Jeong and Robin Thicke briefly walking off the set.
There have been other controversial contestants on “The Masked Singer” before, but none of whom played such a crucial role in attempting to overthrow democracy.
But what’s done is done and even though Fox and the producers of “The Masked Singer” should be ashamed of themselves we might as well have a bit of fun with Giuliani’s appearance on the show.
Here are 10 songs I hope Giuliani had a chance to perform on the show:
10. “Rag Doll” by Frankie Valli & the Four Seasons
Remember when Rudy Giuliani was such a dumbass that he thought he booked a press conference at The Four Seasons hotel, but it turned out to be a landscaping business with the same name … and the dumb sumbitch went through with the press conference anyway? Giuliani was also pretty much Trump’s “Rag Doll,” so while this may not be the most famous Four Seasons hit it’s the one that fits the best and it was still a No. 1 in 1964.
9. “Crazy” by Patsy Cline or “Crazy” by Gnarls Barkley or “Crazy” by Aerosmith or “Crazy” by K-Ci & JoJo
Honestly, any song title of “Crazy” would be fitting for Giuliani. I mean just look at this …
8. “American Idiot” by Green Day
OK, so Giuliani almost certainly didn’t sing “American Idiot” on “The Masked Singer” because the Green Day classic is pretty much about American idiots like Giuliani. Maybe he has a bit of an ironic streak in him though?
7. “The Bitch is Back” by Elton John
The bitch is back indeed. Damn it Fox and “Masked Singer”!!
6. “Bad Liar” by Selena Gomez
Honestly, I’m not sure I’ve ever even heard this song, but the title describes Giuliani to a T.
5. “I Touch Myself” by Divinyls
Remember the scene in 2020’s Sacha Baron Cohen movie “Borat 2” where actress Maria Bakalova plays Borat’s 15-year old daughter, who ends up in a hotel room alone with Giuliani and he lays on the bed and puts his hand down his pants? You might not because he’s done so many other stupid things since then.
4. “Whiskey Bent and Hell Bound” by Hank Williams Jr.
I don’t know if whiskey is Giuliani’s drink. He’s probably not man enough for it. But I am pretty confident he’s hell bound. Plus, I like the bonus points for knowing Hank Williams Jr. would probably hate having a song appear on this list.
3. “I’d Lie for You (and That’s the Truth)” by Meat Loaf
This is pretty much the exact job description Giuliani had while working for Trump. Hell, it was probably on his letterhead.
2. “Drink, Swear, Steal & Lie” by Michael Peterson
I’ll take “Rudy Giuliani’s Favorite Things to Do” for $400, Alex.
1. “A Message to You Rudy” by The Specials
I legit can’t believe this is even a real thing! I don’t believe I’ve ever heard of this song, which was the lead single off The Special’s 1979 self-titled album. But just check out these lyrics:
“Stop your fooling around/Time you straighten right out/Better think of your future/Else you’ll wind up in jail/Rudy/A message to you, Rudy”
Hell, that could’ve been written today explicitly for Giuliani. The only problem is he’s past saving, has no future if he did, he wouldn’t be on the parade of has-beens that is “The Masked Singer” and we can only hope he’ll wind up in jail. The Specials tried to stop you, Rudy. You should have listened.
by Julian Spivey
Pam & Tommy – Hulu – Feb. 2
Hulu’s “Pam & Tommy” is a miniseries I’ve rolled my eyes at from the very moment it was announced. I really don’t care about Pamela Anderson, Tommy Lee, their short-lived marriage or their sex tape. My initial thought was I wasn’t even going to bother with this series, which stars Lily James as Pam and Sebastian Stan as Tommy with a supporting cast of Seth Rogen, Nick Offerman and Taylor Schilling, but it’s gotten so much hype I feel like I’d be missing out if I didn’t at least give it a shot.
Murderville – Netflix – Feb. 3
Netflix newest comedy “Murderville,” premiering Thursday, Feb. 3, is one of those neat ideas for a show that hopefully will be as good as its premise. “Murderville” is a comedy mimicking (or maybe straight up mocking) the crime procedural drama but is done as improv. The series will star Will Arnett as Terry Seattle, a detective trying to solve a murder with a different celebrity guest every week as his partner. Improv is frequently hit or miss, but I can’t wait to see what this show is up to.
Inventing Anna – Netflix – Feb. 11
Shonda Rhimes has been a pretty hit or miss executive producer for me. I enjoyed “Scandal” for the most part, but often rolled my eyes. I watched the entirety of “How to Get Away with Murder,” but didn’t enjoy a whole lot of it. Her other series I’ve never seen. Her newest drama “Inventing Anna” hopefully has enough suspense to interest me in a based on a true story drama of Anna Delvey (played by Emmy-winner Julia Garner), an “Instagram-legendary heiress who stole the hearts and money of New York elites” being investigated by a journalist played by Anna Chlumsky. The two lead actresses are mostly what have piqued my interest.
Bel-Air – Peacock – Feb. 13
I truly don’t know about this one either. It’s quite the head-scratcher of idea. Set in today’s America “Bel-Air” is a reimagining of the beloved ‘90s sitcom “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” told as a drama. It sounds wacky, and the trailer doesn’t do a whole lot to make me think, “hey, this might actually be good,” but it’s such a different idea for a show based on a previous one that makes me at least have to check it out when it debuts on Peacock on Sunday, Feb. 13 (that’s the night of the Super Bowl, why debut a show on that day?).
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (Season 4) – Amazon Prime Video – Feb. 18
This is one I’ve been waiting for since the end of season three of the Emmy-winning Amazon Prime Video comedy “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” dropped in December of 2019. Since it’s been more than two years since I’ve seen an episode, I honestly can’t remember where the series ended up, but I know I love this cast featuring Emmy-winners Rachel Brosnahan, Tony Shalhoub and Alex Borstein so much that I’m ready to have the Maisels and Weissmans back in my life.
Race: Bubba Wallace – Netflix – Feb. 22
I’ve been a NASCAR fan for the majority of my life now and one of my favorite drivers of the sport’s current era is Darrell “Bubba” Wallace Jr., who’s unique in that he’s the only African-American driver at the sport’s highest level and has become one of the sport’s most hated drivers for his outspokenness when it comes to the topic of race. Last year was Wallace’s first with the new upstart 23XL race team started by NASCAR driver Denny Hamlin with basketball legend Michael Jordan and a documentary crew followed him around. Recently ESPN’s “E60” did a great documentary of its own on Wallace, so I mostly hope ‘Race’ has something new to provide fans.